“You’ve got nothing better to do!” ,“You better get out of my face!”, “I can’t do this. I’m just Filipino!”
Every day, every minute, negativity surrounds us. The moment we wake up we hear bad news on the radio, TV, internet. The thing is, it is not only in the news that we hear negativity; it’s from the people around us, people we love, our friends, our co-workers… There will always be people who make us feel inferior, people who whine too much, people who disrespect us, people who put us down, people who abuse us. But do you know what the worst kind is? The worst kind is when that person is none other than our very own selves.
The scenario is we cannot avoid negativity or toxicity in our lives. It will always be around us and within us.
The good news is there’s a way out! Thank God!
The question is how do we do that? How do we live our lives amidst the negativity? How do we shape our outer world in such a way that it would protect our inner selves?
First things first, we must remember that our lives are a perfect reflection of our beliefs. What do we believe in? That we are a very important person and that people should treat us accordingly? Or are we the kind of person who is never… or who is always… it keeps us in a box!.. or You know what, people should love me back, they should praise me, they should be grateful! Should, should, should!
When we don’t expect others to behave in any particular fashion, we’ll have more peace of mind. It’s not actually what happens to us, but how we see it. For as long as we only see negativity, “victim mode”, then the more friends will put us down, more bosses will criticize us, more husbands will abuse us. Events will just unfold according to our expectations. So we really should be careful by what we believe in, even by what our thoughts are leading us, because it’s very powerful.
Second, We have the power to choose. We can always say no to people who encourage our addiction, who constantly hurt us and those who invalidate us. We can choose our friends. Do you know who invalidators are? According to Bo Sanchez, They are whiners, but worst kind, because these are people who don’t criticize the world, they criticize us! When we share our dreams, our goals, our plans to them, they will roll up their eyes and shake their heads. They just seem to know-it-all, they believe they know everything about us and our future more than God. So let us not be victims, let’s get rid of all abusers, invalidators, controllers, manipulators or parasites in our lives.
And last but not the least, Acceptance. Acceptance is the key. That’s the only way we can love people, and if we cannot accept them, then we need to change. Anyway, our mission in life is not to change the world, our mission is to change ourselves according to Andrew Matthews. We see people not as they are but as we are. So our experience of the world is actually us experiencing ourselves. What works is when we work on ourselves, not trying to change other people, what works is when we work on ourselves and not trying to change the world.
The scenario: we cannot avoid negativity or toxicity in our lives. It will always be around us and within us.
The question now is how do we take it in? How mature are we to take responsibility for our thoughts and actions?
The best ending for this is the Serenity Prayer. “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”