What Being Married Means

A friend told me love is not a feeling, it is a commitment.


Well, I didn’t know what it means, until I got married.

You see, I was a late bloomer. I mean, my mom told me every now and again when I was growing up, that I can only wait for love to find me. So I waited.

I’ve waited, yes! (I got married at 25, but these days, I think that is young! Lol) because in my heart, I knew he will come and when I see him, I’ll know it is him. I guess my heart wasn’t kidding because he did come, and when I saw him, I knew he was the one. It felt surreal!

The problem was I didn’t plan on what our lives together will look like! But who does that? Who plans on it?

The thing is there is security in planning ahead, in dreaming what life you want, planning matters! Although sometimes life will lead you to that direction, other times, it will not, plan B will take effect or plan C-Z!

But most of the time, we allow life to happen. That’s what I did.

And that got me into a lot of bumps and more bumps.

No one warned me about what life becomes when you get married. Especially when you got married to a person after a very short engagement and then you realize the other person isn’t a saint who will always be flexible, kind, understanding, and will agree to everything you say.

I forgot I was in a mutual relationship and that means I will also have to adjust and be more flexible, more kind, more understanding and sometimes, I’ll have to agree to most of the thing he says.

Oh boy!  I didn’t know love is real hard work too! But, it got better in time… after all the adjustments, modifications, realigning, rethinking, repositioning, restructuring, redesigning, refining, reworking, and real-time transformations… and quitting wasn’t an option!

So there’s this friend who told me love is not a feeling, it is a commitment, and with 16 years of marriage, I guess, he’s right!



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